More of Nothing
Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada. Yep, just writing more nothing. This should be a blog about nothingness. I guess I don't write about anything important because nothing very exciting ever happens to me (not that I could share, remember this is G-rated). I don't write about my political beliefs because I have strong convictions but an equal amount of respect for other peoples beliefs and convictions. I don't write about thrilling things that I do because I have no life. Or maybe I have too much life and not enough time to live it. I don't have a favorite TV show or movie to gab about and my favorite song changes with my mood. I could use this blog to vent about the people who ticked me off today, but they aren't going to read it and say "oh, I probably should have been nicer," or "I guess I shouldn't have cut her off on the highway," now are they. I still feel like I'm too young to have an opinion of any worth and yet too old to get away with acting like I'm young. Mostly, I think, I just have a deep fear of disappointing people. I could bare my soul, but why would I put my most sacred thoughts and feelings out "there" for the whole world to see? I am terrified that people won't like me, that I won't measure up to their standard of what I should be. Not smart enough, too smart, not attractive enough, not quiet enough, on and on and on. I know I talk too much, but I can't shut up...I've tried, I'm not any good at it. I am very easily distracted. I have no tact, no talent in the art of subtlety. I can be way too blunt. I am a fountain of unending questions. I am incredibly unorganized. And my worst, I overanalyze everything...what I said, what you said, body language, things that were implied, what you thought of what I said, etc. As I sneak up on 30, I finally feel a little more comfortable in my own skin (I accept my flaws and move on), I just wish that this comfortable skin looked a lot more like the 19-year-old skin that I was searching for self-acceptance in.
Okay, I'm done rambling on about nothing. I'll try to do something exciting this weekend so I have something to blog about.
posted by Brina @ 10:45 AM
1 Comments:
Go Grove!! Yeah, I made Scott drive the van so I could take his truck (and the cd player that doesn't ff through every song...my cd player is possessed) to class in Springfield this weekend. It will probably stay painted through football season. I let some of the panther posse mark it up for the 1st game. Oh, you know, I never even considered that I was gonna have to drive it to church tomorrow...I may have to take it off. And, to add my two cents to the debate, the lions would cower and double-time it outta there...Panthers Rule!!
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